spent $5 on a real milkshake tuesday.

spent $0 wednesday.

i know who starla nutpicker is.

i spent $0 today. probably drove 40 miles. say 15 mpg, so 2.6 gallons at $1.60 is about $4. not bad.

holy fuck. vegas spit me out but good. i lost $200 at the tables, on top of batchelor-type expenses, gas and food. if i don't spend a single penny for 2 weeks i can do it. i can make rent. from here on out (or at least for the next two weeks) this will be a journal of asceticism.

i will keep track of how little i have spent, like in the warhol diaries.

but damn was vegas fun. i will put a picture or two up here within the next few days. i loved every minute of the town until the ATM maching started insulting me cause i was broke, drunk, and stupid.

we spent most of our time, and i spent most of my money, at a two bit no-hotel cheapo leprachaun-themed casino called o'shea's. they had $2 blackjack, $3 roulette, and casino war, possibly the greatest gambling game since $1-a-round rock-paper-scissors.

anyone want to buy some of my stuff? i'm putting my firstborn up on e-bay this evening to pay off my debts. watch for it.

so my car will hit 100,000 miles today. i plan to pull over, light a candle, and have some soda and cake. i'll take a picture, too.

one day till vegas.

still no idea who starla nutpicker is.

also, when i talked to alissa yesterday, we were discussing getting together over thanksgiving when we'll both be back in dc. we said we'd call each other and chat sometime soon, deffinitely before thanksgiving. then she said something like "but I'm not worried, i mean, i read you everyday." and i read her everyday, along with all the other people/places linked to over there on the left. but it just sounded weird when i heard it, vaguely paranormal and futuristic, somewhere between brave new world and a hive mind.

lots of new stuff on here. links to things i like, and comments and all that. i had a productive sunday, if you call staring at a computer screen for a few hours while it's beautiful outside 'productive.'

i think i talked to more out-of-town people i care about this weekend than i have in a long time. liz, alissa, my grandfather, grandmother, mother, and brother. it felt good.

saw the lords of altamont on friday night. they rocked the fuck out of spaceland, and will be playing a free show at the knitting factory LA on wednesday, so anyone in town should try and check them out if you haven't before. also i feel i need to link to the sharp ease because i didn't before and they also rule.

I've been getting e-mails from someone I know from back in DC, who goes by 'starla nutpicker.' she won't tell me who she is, no matter how much i beg. i have some wild guesses, but that's all they are. i need help. if you know starla, please get her to spill the beans.

if you want to see lots of pictures from my tour with the walkmen, then go here. it might take a while to load, though, so be patient. modem users beware.

this weekend is my friend dan's long awaited "batchelor weekend" in vegas. I've been putting off a vegas trip since i've been in LA, mainly because i've been broke, but there's no way i'm not going this weekend. trouble is, I'm still broke. I tried gambling when i was in vancouver, since there was a casino in the hotel. (not that I haven't gambled before. quite to the contrary. I've bet on anything and everything under the sun, from where fellow travellers were staying one night, to how many megabytes are in a terabyte. one of my favorites is dollar-a-round rock/paper/scissors, but i digress.) I played roulette all night, and was up probably $50, but i didn't really understand what that meant, cause it was canadian money, so i stayed there and lost it all ($25C) and went to bed. so wish me luck in vegas, cause if i win big then realistic records can start working on a few projects at once, and if i lose big i'll be another broke asshole in vegas.

(selective boldface back by popular demand.)

I'm going to try and mirror this page at my pacbell webspace just for kicks. if it doesn't work, don't get mad.

choose a song that...

1. reminds you of an ex-lover: pogues "fairytale of new york"
2. reminds you of an ex-friend: dr. octagon 'moosebumps'
3. makes you cry: springsteen "highway patrolman"
4. makes you laugh: the b.o.t.s. 'mc born kicks a dope freestyle for the helium kids on the corner"
5. makes you wanna dance: 'gospel time' beenie man
6. reminds you of the one you want: 'our time' yeah yeah yeahs
7. reminds you of the one you love: n.o.u. 'you're my miss washington d.c.'
8. you wish you wrote: 'time' richard hell and the voidoids
9. you never want to hear again: eminem 'without me'
10. you want to get married to: sam cook 'if you need me'
10.5. you want to get buried to: many rivers to cross, jimmy cliff, the version on disc one of the trojan UK Hits 3-cd box.
11. makes you want to mosh/bang your head: nation of ulysses "nousptda/the shape of jazz to come"
12. sums up your teenage years: 'make it precious' jonathan fire*eater
13. you like to wake up to: jonathan richman/modern lovers 'roadrunner'
14. you like from your parents' collection: 'red headed stranger' willie nelson
15. you love that a friend introduced to you: springsteen nebraska the whole album
16. you love the video even more: highwaymen "highwaymen"
17. reminds of your first crush: 'that song from the robin hood movie' by brian adams. (i know. but i was young)
18. you love from a favorite movie: "better off dead" from the movie of the same name, sung during the prom scene
19. makes you think of the moon: santo & johnny 'sleepwalk'
20. makes you think of stars: 'california stars' billy bragg & wilco
21. makes you think of the sun: 'blue velvet"
22. makes you think of sex: the bassist from radio vago
23. makes you think of being alone: velvets 'stephanie says'
24. you love to hear at clubs: the slickers 'johnny too bad'

ok, now yours.

what up. went to a show on monday at the smell. erase errata w/ the sharp ease and some other bands. fun. thursday already. not sleeping well this week. it's the full moon, which comes up every night big and orange then sits outside my window laughing and keeping me up. at least it's not my upstairs neighbor fighting with her man anymore. it's all on me, and i don't have to lie in bed half or a third asleep wondering where the lines between discretion, exhaustion, worry, and annoyance are and how that ven-ish diagram relates to whether to call the cops to shut them up/check that they're ok and not killing each other or just wait till they shut up/die so i can fucking sleep. that happened last week.

watched the first 75 minuted of CQ last night. I'm glad the copy i saw didn't have more. it looked cool but was pretty fucking boring.

because of the full moon i expect a wild weekend.

i write nothing for a while not because i hate you, but because my life has returned to thesort of boring shit that hapens day to day and there's nothing interesting going on. no fun interludes, just murakami and lunch breaks. shashi im tired of reading about your m and ms. alissa i'm proud of you. i want to go to sleep. goodnight.

so we're going with Realistic Records as the name of the label, cause it sounds like a label that should have been around for a while, and it's also an oblique reference to our first release. we're shooting for having the Recoys LP out by christmas in order to have a reunion show/record release party at the black cat or something when all the massive is in DC.

it took a full week to feel like myself again after getting back to LA. luckily there was a loooong weekend to kick back. standout moments included the liz mcgrath opening/afterparty at la luz, the "prom '82" party sat. night, and sleeping a lot.

what I'm bumping: richard hell & the voidoids "time" & blank generation LP, television "marquee moon", atmosphere godlovesugly, yeah yeah yeahs EP, new blackalicous lp.

also, let me just say for the record that abigail stole my minor threat conspiracy link. and didn't credit it. and she's a librarian, who should know the importance of proper documentation and references. not that I care so much, just i want her to know that i know. also a shoutout to alissa.

so I'm back from the walkmen's west coast tour. so much fun. so pissed that we missed the show in vancouver because of traffic in seattle. i got to see some old friends (kat, nez, shashi, dre, etc). it's tough adjusting to a stationary lifestyle after 10 days of constant travel and rock and roll. I'll try and do a day-by-day of the tour at some point. not quite yet, though.

went to see hot hot heat/radio 4/arlo at the knitting factory last night. hot hot heat was off the hook. it was the first all ages show I'd been to in a while and let me tell you the kids are alright. brought me back to dc and shows in church basements and such. there was even a bit of a pit, which if you've ever heard hot hot heat might surprise you a bit.

now radio 4 just sucks:

a) there are 5 of them, but they're called radio 4. come on.
b) the singer's hat.
c) bongos?
d) they suck.

it's like hot hot heat and radio 4 sat down to divy up the clash and hot hot heat got the interesting parts. oh well. and arlo rocked out, but I had seen them 4 times on the walkmen tour so I went home to get some sleep after a few songs.

so my roommate max and i are starting a record label (we're postumously putting out a proper album by the recoys as our first release) and we need a name. the three contenders as of now are:

1. Blood and Whiskey Records
2. Three In Front Records
3. Realistic Records

which is the best? let me know your pick or any other suggestions by clicking here.

and then there's this.

i wrote this letter to my friend paige. i figured it had general interest, and so i post it here. i may start putting more things I've written up here and not just tell stories and talk about things that have actually happened to me.

whats up you wanted stories of the city of angels. 3 months ago. but it takes a while to get enough good ones for a letter. i haven't yet, but I'll write one anyway. sorry the friction funding didn't come through. the day will come, though, and we'll be ready. you should definitely do the nyc/publishing house thing. you haven't ever lived in a big/really big city, have you? i've been here a year and a half now, and I feel like a battery is charging up even though it's exhausting to live here. like when i get out of here in however many years and go somewhere more stable like you were talking about, I'll be able to get a lot done in whichever direction I'm headed (writing/movies/music/etc.).
la is crazy. I've been working steadily for the first time in a while, starting in late april. much needed stability. lots of crazy stories, but most are best told in person with gestures and silly walks to illustrate. writing some. we got a writers group together among my friends once a week for a while there and that helped a lot just to get my head in the right place to start writing again. I just got a typewriter...well not just, but i only recently started using it.....and i get good vibes out of it when i'm writing on it so i'm going to keep using it. it's nice to know that someone else, or a bunch of other people, used it before. i wrote this on it yesterday:


i have visions of other worlds
red worlds
with people-creatures
with vague and undefined
features climbing out of the
shadows that cloud this other world or my
visions of it.
blue worlds that rest like an hour before
dawn on a sunday. orange worlds.


they creep through my mind when i
try to sleep off the week.
i think they want me to send them something
but i don't have their address and it will
likely be years before i can find what
they need.
they must understand my situation
i mean, a man has to make a living these
days and, in the wake of the tragic events
of september 11, which have shattered
our nerves but deepened our resolve, i must
churn out product for the war machine.


this is not a time to cavort with aliens.


i just don't have the time to
let their signals wash across my thoughts
and don't know if i shoul--


write in the morning. squeeze the dreams
out then, when they are juicy and just then
retreating. pound through their door then,
catch them before they have woken enough to know to run.
they will pay for leaving their window open. every man
has his place in the war machine. i will accept their calling.
the fall, the boyant cry of the hunted that has just escaped from the slaughter:


why is there blood on my pantleg.
why did i pick this revolution
did i think it would succeed?
you must release me some time, if
only to oblivion. you cannot hold
my soul forever. take what you need
now, and quickly, and let me moan
away to memories of the end of
august and quiet summer nights in the
north country where the soft breath
of winter remains in the air even then.
where the streets are empty and
the quiet rhythm of the sea echoes
off the rocks of the inlet. i've reached
the end of my line.
---



not particularly coherent or polished but it's more interesting that anything I've written in a while so I figure it must be the ghosts in the typewriter. tell me more about school and such and what's up in your life.