no need to worry, folks

now, i know people are getting pretty worked up about what's happening in asia minor/the middle east these days, but they're getting excited over nothing. our president knows "exactly what is going to happen in the Middle East and what part he will have under the leading of the Holy Spirit of God." sound incredible? per Condi Rice's request, W now has in his hands an outline of the future of the middle east, and his role in it, prepared by our friend jack van impe.*

now I've only been born once, but I've heard about the beliefs of the double-birthed christians with respect to the middle east, the apocalypse, and the second coming, mainly through discussions of the left behind series of novels. now i've got no problem with the rapture, where all the twice-birthed disappear into heaven. they'll be happy, it'll be less messy for the rest of us than heaven gate, and maybe we could finally start showing tits on network tv and buy FHM at wall-mart. the one part that gives me pause is where apparently all the jewish people in the world are either killed or converted into christians. now we all know that ashcrost believes in witches and demons, but, you know, whoa....

for bonus points, research the history of western powers using foreign policy as a tool to hasten armageddon. it's not quite as rare as you would think.

*UPDATE 8/13: link changed to google's cache of the relevant web page, as jack van impe ministries seems to have taken down the original.